Italy 2011

How do you know when you're in Italy? Maybe it's when the guy in front of you in the Budapest airport. starts yelling and gesticulating madly about his baggage surcharges and looks to the heavens and exclaims "Madonna Mia"! As most people know you're baggage must be a certain weight on these cheapo airlines, otherwise they fine you! He obviously never got the memo. On the plane, the flight attendant who spoke over the PA system, had a striking resemblance to a sex phone operator. Her overly breathy voice, drawling Hungarian accent, the occasional giggle as she told us where the emergency exits were, and the rhythmic punctuated pauses didn't exactly inspire confidence in airline safety. Upon arriving at the apartment/bed and breakfast where we stayed in Rome, in typical RANAD fashion we managed to set off the alarm for the entire apartment building. Thankfully, Alessandro, our host, wasn't fazed by it, and we couldn't actually hear it from the apartment.

After a delicious Italian coffee and Nutella bread, we headed out to spend a day at the beach. On our way out, we picked up cheese at a cheese shop, fruit at a fruit stand, bread at a bread store, you get the idea... Remarkably, the Roman rapid transit system takes you right to the coast for only 1.5 € each. At the beach, we swam, had a picnic, read and lazed about. We successfully ignored the pesky beach vendors, but the couple next to us weren't so lucky and got to see his entire kit layed out for them. On the way back from the beach, we had to wait for about twenty minutes for a bus. When the bus finally arrived, it was packed to the gills with other passengers. But we squished our way on anyway. Each of us were completely wedged between a mix of each other and complete strangers, to the point where Aviva didn't have to hold on to a railing or even support her own weight. And just when we thought you couldn't possibly fit more people on, the bus driver pulled over and picked up more passengers. The people at the back of the bus were throwing there hands up in the air and shouting "Basta! Basta!" (Enough! Enough!) Thankfully, we arrived at the station safely and headed back to Rome.

After a supper with an unplanned, uninvited accordion performance, we started walking around aimlessly looking for gelato. Upon asking some Italians for directions, they proclaimed "We live in Rome, and we're going for Gelato too. You should come with us!" So we did! And boy are we glad because they brought us to an amazing artisanal place, translated every flavour for us, and let us tell you, it was awesome gelato!

The next day we went on a tour of ancient Rome with our art historian guide, Silvia. She was like an encyclopedia of ancient everything! We saw the Colosseum, the Foro Romano, and where the Vesta Virgins lived. (Rob momentarily thought she said vespa virgins, so now every time we think of them, we can't help but imagine nuns on mopeds).

For dinner that evening, Aaron ordered ravioli stuffed with ricotta and pistachio. His first bite revealed some salty ground meat inside. When we complained to the waitress she looked aghast and asked if he was a vegetarian. To keep things simple, we said yes, and he ordered a veggie pasta. This being Italy, it took a while to come, so a very hungry Aaron had to sneak bites of Rob's meat dish whenever the wait-staff was out of the tiny dining area.

Okay, now we digress to list the top seven most peculiar vehicular behaviours we've witnessed in Italy thus far:

1) Man riding bicycle along highway without helmet, talking on cellphone.

2) Two year old child standing on front passenger seat of a moving car. Empty car seat in back.

3) Mother with two small children riding on moped.

4) Parked car with shirtless man and woman in car. Condoms strewn about outside.

5) Woman on moped, talking on cell phone headset, wildly gesticulating.

6) Motorcyclists everywhere weaving in and out between cars on the high way as if in video game.

7) Double solid yellow line on high way = Teeny VIP lane just for motorcyclists going in either direction.

Now on to Amalfi! Well first let's talk about the car rental. While Diane and Rob waited in line, they were kissing each other sweetly. The agent noticed and they stopped, bashfully. The agent smiled and said, "No no, don't ever stop. It's wonderful! Have fun in Italy." And she proceeded to give us a major upgrade on our car rental.

Our first night in Amalfi, in a town called Meta, our hosts recommended a local pizzzeria, where, literally all they serve is pizza; including (we're not kidding here) Nutella pizza for dessert. Each pizza was served on its own individual cookie sheet. It was extremely yum!

The following day we hiked up Vesuvius; an impressive volcano that is now dormant. Noah, taking a water bottle for himself, decided he would go ahead around the rim of the crater, but, tantalized by the vista, he didn't notice the "Access Prohibited" sign. After reaching a parking lot instead, he decided it wasn't interesting and would return back up. Meanwhile, the rest of us, who DID see the "Access Prohibited" sign, were growing a bit nervous, realizing that he must have gone ahead, and were greatly relieved to see him re-surface.

Later we took a tour of Pompeii. It really is remarkable how well preserved it is, especially in comparison to the Foro Romano. We learned that the city had numerous penises carved in stone or sculpted to ward off the evil eye, oh and also to indicate directions to brothels. On the way to dinner that evening, Aviva saw a dead bird (a major phobia of hers) and screamed and crawled on all fours into a gelateria. She has recovered, and they have thankfully removed the dead bird.

The next day our hosts sent us on the Malacoccola, one of the famous hikes, high up in the hills of the Sorrentine peninsula, from where we could see the sea on both coasts. If we could get a euro for every time we got lost and had to ask for directions from a local, we would have enough money to buy Diane a new iphone. (more about that in a moment). We ended up in Sorrento that night for dinner. It was a bit too packed with tourists, but still gorgeous.

On our last morning in Amalfi, we went to the beach for an early morning swim. We all had a lovely time, splashing in the waves while Diane took pictures with her iphone. Unfortunately, she somehow managed to drop her iphone in the ocean. It is currently recovering, but in critical condition, perhaps chronically impaired. We're not sure if it'll make it.

With love,
RANAD